Excerpt: Coming Clean

Winter Park, CO 2002: Clean, crisp mountain air and the coolest girls in the world go hand in hand. Why would anyone choose darkness and thereby forsake these two and the marvelous Kingdom of God all at the same time? Trent Ling’s personal insistence upon the light, no matter how ugly it gets, has served God, his family, and his ministry. It is the only way to love and live!

Excerpts from Trent’s historical letters candidly and anonymously offer flavors and insights from real-time and real-life origins.  Hop aboard these instructions and confessions in mid-stream, below, and see if they help you, too.  This letter from 2002 demonstrates how Trent gets open and honest with his ministry family immediately upon God coming against him.

From Trent Ling:

Hello All,

Well God promises judgment now (1 Peter 4:17) and I get it.

Over the past 24 hours I have:

Wanted to lust

Wanted to masturbate

Wanted to bark at the moon

Wanted to be locked up in the Psychiatric ward where I have visited others

Wanted my kids to be 18 so I don’t have to deal with their clutter and needs

Wanted to go to Indonesia, preach the truth, knowing I’d get my head chopped off

I think it is safe to say that I must be wrong.  The heavy hand of God has been upon me, and for me it is unmistakably the hand of God (Psalm 32:4).

I certainly don’t know too much for sure, but it is safe to say I have ignored Colossians 3:19 which says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”  I have been way too harsh!

Forgive my rambling, but I need to be open.  Yesterday, while Siauw diligently worked all morning, noon and night to put the house in order, I did not lift a finger to help; I ran a few errands; took a one-hour nap; and went to see “Red Dragon” with my neighbor, and then went to bed, all while Siauw worked hard at home.  It was actually very encouraging to see Siauw live 1 Peter 4:19 (“So, then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good”).  It is great to see Siauw commit to God as one approved (2 Timothy 2:15), and God get busy, even at my own silly sorry expense.

Yes, I do believe there are issues of pride, lack of discipline, and engrossing into things in Siauw’s life.  But, there must be gentle instruction in my life or I will not be able to help her with it.

I have died to the house (as I had done over 2 years ago, and must do daily now).  I will not venture a word again about it, except only to confess my struggle with caring about it should I fall there again, or to help Siauw with any struggles, given the opportunity.  God can show me in one day, whether I am neglecting my responsibilities in the house, so I will resolve not to care, unless he prompts me to say or do something.  This is a scary area of my life, because the Presidency and the gutter are obviously not God’s will, and are easy to cut off.  But, I fear he will get me involved in what is a very unclean area for me.

Love you all.

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Excerpt: Coming Clean — 4 Comments

  1. I learned how to be open, specific, and vulnerable from you, Om Trent. I remember when you appealed to me to be vulnerable, “don’t just sit in the corner while others (Joan L. at that time) pouring their hearts out (and it wasn’t pretty). Relate to people. Not to play it safe.” Amen and thank you!

  2. Oh.. I remember that day when Trent was not happy with the stuff around the house. I didn’t understand what he was after. He rebuked me, I wanted to retaliate.. my insecurity was creeping in on me, Satan was very crafty because Trent was talking about “his” and I was confused, I thought everything should be “ours.” Long story short, Amen for God had put in my heart (1 Peter 4:19) that Trent’s problem was not me, and he was being silly and rude. So I kept working and trusting God, and let Him be the judge. Thank God for maturing and discipling both of us 🙂 Here’s to coming clean!

  3. I agree Jamie! Trent’s openness is an awesome example to follow.

    I love how God’s mighty hand will always impart justice. I also love that we could try to keep our evil deeds in darkness, but God in His faithfulness, will bring everything to the light by giving us over to our sin or our weirdness. I definitely prefer to confess and humble myself than God exposing me and putting me to public shame.

    Ecclesiastes 12:14 “For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.

  4. Amen, Trent for your letter here which demonstrates how disciples should live in openness. It is sad to think that so many over the years have cursed you in heart and resolved that you are some “bad guy” all the while all you were doing was living the bible. If they could blush, they would, followed by their own public confession of being totally wrong. But they will not heed your calling today, nor follow in the clear example you set out here and throughout your life.
    Love you.

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