Excerpts from Trent’s historical letters candidly and anonymously offer flavors and insights from real-time and real-life origins. Hop aboard these instructions and confessions in mid-stream, below, and see if they help you, too. This letter from 2002 demonstrates how Trent gets open and honest with his ministry family immediately upon God coming against him.
From Trent Ling:
Well God promises judgment now (1 Peter 4:17) and I get it.
Over the past 24 hours I have:
Wanted to lust
Wanted to masturbate
Wanted to bark at the moon
Wanted to be locked up in the Psychiatric ward where I have visited others
Wanted my kids to be 18 so I don’t have to deal with their clutter and needs
Wanted to go to Indonesia, preach the truth, knowing I’d get my head chopped off
I think it is safe to say that I must be wrong. The heavy hand of God has been upon me, and for me it is unmistakably the hand of God (Psalm 32:4).
I certainly don’t know too much for sure, but it is safe to say I have ignored Colossians 3:19 which says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” I have been way too harsh!
Forgive my rambling, but I need to be open. Yesterday, while Siauw diligently worked all morning, noon and night to put the house in order, I did not lift a finger to help; I ran a few errands; took a one-hour nap; and went to see “Red Dragon” with my neighbor, and then went to bed, all while Siauw worked hard at home. It was actually very encouraging to see Siauw live 1 Peter 4:19 (“So, then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good”). It is great to see Siauw commit to God as one approved (2 Timothy 2:15), and God get busy, even at my own silly sorry expense.
Yes, I do believe there are issues of pride, lack of discipline, and engrossing into things in Siauw’s life. But, there must be gentle instruction in my life or I will not be able to help her with it.
I have died to the house (as I had done over 2 years ago, and must do daily now). I will not venture a word again about it, except only to confess my struggle with caring about it should I fall there again, or to help Siauw with any struggles, given the opportunity. God can show me in one day, whether I am neglecting my responsibilities in the house, so I will resolve not to care, unless he prompts me to say or do something. This is a scary area of my life, because the Presidency and the gutter are obviously not God’s will, and are easy to cut off. But, I fear he will get me involved in what is a very unclean area for me.
Love you all.
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